Mar 26, 2014

The Cluster Cuse of a Year

So here we are, 26 March 2014 and I have not posted as I promised, for more than a month. My school year is going down as one of my worst. With over size classes full of personalities, IEP's, and massive neediness and a studio class that is still working its way to some place, I'm not sure where. Load on more work and expectations and paper work, SLO's and yet another survey I'm suppose to complete in my spare time. Somehow I decided to take a night off from sweatshop duties and grading sketchbooks and planning and placed myself in front of my neglected computer and blog for me to pour out a little of my soul with out screaming for help and crying myself to sleep. I am so over worked that I can't put in the needed time in the sweatshop and I'm so tired by the "take, Take, Take" that feel like I cannot do any job properly with the needed attention both require.  Can;t let up on the jennyjen42 business because I am still growing my business so that I have something to go to once I retire to, and I have to stick it in for 3 more years to get all of the benefits and pension I have worked so hard to receive. I'm in my on catch 22 hell. So I'm trying not to drink myself to death or write too many complaints or often thought that are on my head on facebook or on this blog. I miss my dad more than anything because he would know what to say to make all of this feel better. HE would give me the strength to carry on. I have great family, my loving husband, my peers who are going through the same ordeal..but sadly have even more years to teach till retirement is at hand. we are all fantasizing about how it was, even just last year, and of better places to be and other careers. What has happened to the teaching profession? When did become so fucking hard? OK, enough of that...that felt good but I must stick this out and find a better attitude. I'm hoping I will find it Friday as I fly out to San Diego for the NAEA Conference! I'm looking forward to the west coast! Even bought myself a new spring dress! I will be presenting with my teaching buddies about teaching beyond the classroom. How we get our students to participate in the real art world! The shitty part about this is that I have not been able to do any of this this year! But here's hoping I will get some needed energy! 

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